Sunday

Today went fairly well overall.  Went skating with some friends, and then for coffee afterward.  I found out that my grandpa was in the hospital, so went to visit him for awhile.  The other patient in the room was dying, and it triggered some thoughts about mortality for me.  Although my grandpa was okay for the most part, I was still concerned that my grandparents are getting older, and I might not have then around for too much longer.  I know this is inevitable, but the fact that I have absolutely no control over it was upsetting.  I had a few urges to binge, but I managed to accept them as fleeting thoughts.  I had dinner with my grandma (soup and half a sandwich) and instantly felt like I needed to purge after.  Even though it was slightly less than what I would have to eat in program, I really felt like I had had too much.  I didn't end up purging, but sure felt like it.  I can't do it with my fingers, I usually use the handle of a toothbrush, so maybe that stopped me from purging.  If I had it with me, I very likely would have followed through.  So, I popped a mint, and drove back to my boyfriend's house.  I fell asleep before having any more urges, so I think overall the day was successful.