Day 9

Today went pretty well, I had to be there early for breakfast prep.  It was pretty easy, and we were finished up early.  We learned about Dialectical Behavioural Therapy in the first session; it was quite interesting, I don't know much about it.  But I liked what  I learned about creating a synthesis between the reasonable mind and the emotional mind, to make decisions with a wise mind.  The theory is that the emotional mind tends to be impulsive and gets overwhelmed easily, whereas reasonable mind uses logic and facts to make decisions.  The eating disorder is said to live in the emotional mind, so the wise mind evaluates the impulsive decisions along with the facts to make wise decisions.  This allows us to experience feelings without judgement, and eventually challenge those thoughts from the emotional mind.  We learn to know the difference between those things we can change, and those we must accept.  We can be willing in our acceptance, or willful, which perpetuates emotional discomfort.  This is turn can lead to anxiety, guilt, etc, which starts the vicious cycle of engaging in behaviours and self-hatred.  We ran through a quick mindfulness exercise, and then moved on to psychotherapy.

This was an interesting and enlightening session- I presented the disagreement I had with Sharon about the added fat on toast, and I was challenged to examine what I would be fighting if it wasn't the food?  One of the girls said that it sounded like I want the program to help me, but on my terms, by my rules, and within my comfort zone.  Eureka! It made so much sense. I will be seeing my dietician tomorrow to discuss my food plan, so I will bring it up.  I don't think I'm going to automatically change my mind and start eating cheez whiz on my toast, but I might be able to think about relaxing my resistance to the food.  But not yet.

After lunch was a session about journaling; I was so tired that I started falling asleep.  I figure this blog is pretty similar, so I don't know if I will start journaling right now.  Dinner was gross, it was veggie burgers and fries that were kind of soggy.  Overall, I felt like the day went pretty well.  I am glad that the weekend is almost here.