Friday

We had the day off today; the program staff were doing professional development.  Yay long weekend!  I was a bit nervous about having an extra day off, but I had made up a meal plan and tried to keep the weekend relatively unplanned as far as tasks go.  I usually tend to book up my weekends with hair appointments, workout sessions, social time and possibly house cleaning.  I am realizing now that being so busy contributed to my eating disorder.  I would be so overwhelmed with all the things I "had" to do, that I just avoided as much as I could so I could stay home and binge.  It made me think a lot about the session we had this week on self-responsibility.  I think what I need to do is make more time for myself, rather than putting other peoples' needs ahead of mine or Luc's.  It will be hard to do, but I think I will try not to book up my weekends with responsibilities.  Especially while I am in program it is important that I can have some time to relax and enjoy the weekend.  All work and no play makes Steff go crazy, I guess.  Especially while I am in the program I think it will be important to have time to relax on the weekend.

Today was a really good day!  I had planned to go to the gym, but slept in; so I got up and had some breakfast.  I had an appointment with Alberta Works to get some income support; apparently the university hadn't processed my withdrawal properly, so Student Aid was not contacted either, and they thought I was still an active student and receiving money.  Alberta Works won't give any money unless Student Aid is not giving me any money, so I had to send back the cheques I had received from Student Aid.  Hopefully they get them soon so that I can be approved for funding by Alberta Works.  I got mad that they weren't able to help me right away; I knew I was supposed to send the cheque back early in the month, but I wanted to hold on to it just in case Alberta Works doesn't give me money.  But they will not give any money until they know for sure that I have no money coming in.  Stupid government, they need you to have no money until they will give you some money.  Anyway, I was frustrated after the appointment, and then even more when I found out the withdrawal hadn't been processed and Student Aid hadn't been notified that I won't be cashing any cheques.  Normally in a situation where I got mad or upset by something, I would go home and binge.  I was taking Luc for lunch today, but I did have time in the afternoon.  Usually I would be planning what to eat right away, but not today.  I was annoyed, but all I did was make plans to be with a friend after I dropped Luc off, and went home to grab those cheques.  Mailed them back today, took Luc to McDonald's, then met up with a good friend for coffee.  I had no interest in bingeing or purging; I brought (healthy) snacks with me so that I wouldn't be tempted to buy junk, and it was a fantastic afternoon.  I got through the uncomfortableness of dealing with Alberta Works and Student Aid without engaging in any behaviours.  Not to be over-confident, but good for me!! That's the first time I've ever done that I think.  Or at least first time in a long time!