We had the day off today; the program staff were doing professional development. Yay long weekend! I was a bit nervous about having an extra day off, but I had made up a meal plan and tried to keep the weekend relatively unplanned as far as tasks go. I usually tend to book up my weekends with hair appointments, workout sessions, social time and possibly house cleaning. I am realizing now that being so busy contributed to my eating disorder. I would be so overwhelmed with all the things I "had" to do, that I just avoided as much as I could so I could stay home and binge. It made me think a lot about the session we had this week on self-responsibility. I think what I need to do is make more time for myself, rather than putting other peoples' needs ahead of mine or Luc's. It will be hard to do, but I think I will try not to book up my weekends with responsibilities. Especially while I am in program it is important that I can have some time to relax and enjoy the weekend. All work and no play makes Steff go crazy, I guess. Especially while I am in the program I think it will be important to have time to relax on the weekend.
Today was a really good day! I had planned to go to the gym, but slept in; so I got up and had some breakfast. I had an appointment with Alberta Works to get some income support; apparently the university hadn't processed my withdrawal properly, so Student Aid was not contacted either, and they thought I was still an active student and receiving money. Alberta Works won't give any money unless Student Aid is not giving me any money, so I had to send back the cheques I had received from Student Aid. Hopefully they get them soon so that I can be approved for funding by Alberta Works. I got mad that they weren't able to help me right away; I knew I was supposed to send the cheque back early in the month, but I wanted to hold on to it just in case Alberta Works doesn't give me money. But they will not give any money until they know for sure that I have no money coming in. Stupid government, they need you to have no money until they will give you some money. Anyway, I was frustrated after the appointment, and then even more when I found out the withdrawal hadn't been processed and Student Aid hadn't been notified that I won't be cashing any cheques. Normally in a situation where I got mad or upset by something, I would go home and binge. I was taking Luc for lunch today, but I did have time in the afternoon. Usually I would be planning what to eat right away, but not today. I was annoyed, but all I did was make plans to be with a friend after I dropped Luc off, and went home to grab those cheques. Mailed them back today, took Luc to McDonald's, then met up with a good friend for coffee. I had no interest in bingeing or purging; I brought (healthy) snacks with me so that I wouldn't be tempted to buy junk, and it was a fantastic afternoon. I got through the uncomfortableness of dealing with Alberta Works and Student Aid without engaging in any behaviours. Not to be over-confident, but good for me!! That's the first time I've ever done that I think. Or at least first time in a long time!
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