Overall the weekend went well. Spent a nice evening with Tony on Friday, then spent some time with Luc building Lego on Saturday. On Sunday, I had a few hair appointments, and hit up the gym in the morning.
In sticking with my goal of being mindful of my triggers and journaling about them, I will admit that I was triggered most of the weekend, but got through it. Body image issues, concerns about weight, and watching other people eat was quite distressing. I weighed myself at the gym, and it said I was up 2 pounds from last week. I was really upset about it, so was sure to eat lightly. I had a bit of wine and pasta on Friday night, so maybe that and all the cheese and carbs I eat is definitely making me gain. I thought about withdrawing from the program temporarily, to see if it really has helped. But I only have 3 weeks left, and the last two will be transition weeks, so I don't have to attend all of the meals or sessions.
I really wanted to binge on Saturday night. Tony ordered some fast food, and offered me some fries. Totally harmless gesture, but made me want to eat them. So, popped a mint and declined. On Sunday I felt really gross and fat. My skin is freakin out lately, and it is really bothering me. The scale at the gym said I was one pound down from last week, so three pounds from Saturday. Hmm, well, I'll take it. Better than thinking I gained weight. I saw a really thin girl at the gym, and that made me feel fat. The rest of the day went well, I had a few hair appointments, and then went to Tony's. Should be a good night. I didn't give in to any of the urges to binge, so that is great.
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