Monday went by pretty quickly; we had two new girls join us, plus two that are in their last week, so there were a lot of us! No issues that I can think of, but will update as I think of it.
So I forgot what I did on Monday, and just remembered. I started writing it, and then the laptop died. Goddamn! So here's what I remember from what I wrote:
Monday was alright; I reported the struggles I had over the weekend in the check-in. Not too bad, I had binged on Friday night, and then struggled with eating cake on Sunday. Oh well, I guess. Could have been worse. I didn't purge after the cake, I just ate it. I figured I had eaten well and exercised the other days, so should be okay. I decided not to weigh in; I was worried that I would be up, because of the number on the scale at the gym. I think sometimes that I should buy new batteries for my scale, but I know this is risky.
Nutrition planning was alright, we talked about cooking at home. In Emotional and Physical Relationships group, we were asked to answer questions about our families. The question I got was "In your family, is it okay to make mistakes?" I was surprised at how triggering this question was. I didn't share too much of what I wrote, other than that it brought up a lot of the resentment and jealousy toward Amy and my parents that I thought I had already dealt with. The therapist mentioned that this was not the first time I had voiced being surprised at certain emotions coming up that I "thought I was over", and that maybe I should bring it up in psychotherapy. Haven't done that yet, but maybe. I sometimes feel like I talk too much, so I don't want to take up every session with my issues, I should be using individual counseling for that. At check-out, we had to make 'hope and play' suggestions, of things that we will be hopeful for, and some sort of leisure or fun activity we will do during the week. I'm not too sure what I'll do for play, but I am hopeful that over the next four weeks, I can get as much out of treatment as I possibly can. Even though some of the rules drive me crazy, I really need to use this time to get serious about life after treatment.
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