November 26

Since my last check-in, I was doing fairly well.  I seemed to have my eating under control, and I've been working out with heavy weights, and seeing some decent results.  Last Thursday though, I had a craving for chocolate, so I thought I would 'mindfully indulge' in some M&Ms and Mini Eggs (the small bags, not the big ones I usually buy).  Bad idea.  That lead to 'needing' cheezies and more mini eggs, then some M&Ms, and more cheezies.  I had plans that night to go out with friends from work; that didn't happen.  I went home and binged, with intentions of purging afterward.  I fell asleep before I could throw up, and so woke up the next day feeling absolutely disgusting.  I can't actually remember the last time I purged; I think it was some time in September.  Maybe October?  I don't know, it's been awhile for sure.  I actually threw out the toothbrush that I would use for purging; I guess that's a step in the right direction.  Since then, I've been bingeing quite a bit, and feeling fat.  I know 'that time of the month' is coming soon, and I always seem to turn into a [c]raving mad woman for a good 10 days before hand, with an insatiable appetite for carbs, carbs, and more carbs.  Whatever.  It is what it is, I guess.  I just want to be done with this.  I have been buying healthy groceries, and preparing meals to take to school with me, so that's good.  But at night is really the problem.  Luc is staying with me full-time now too; thanks to some accusations regarding inappropriate touching of Luc's 3-year-old sister, he can't stay with his dad for an undisclosed amount of time.  So that has been stressful.  He eats so much, then I eat what he is eating; I'm frustrated with his behaviour most of the time, it's just not really a good situation.  And things with Tony are fizzling; he won't come over to my house to hang out, and Luc doesn't like going to his house, so I basically have seen him twice over the last two weeks.  I like him, but I'm just not so sure anymore.  Anyway, that's about it for now; I can't really think of anything important to add at the moment.